Sunday, December 20, 2009

a prayer

I've learned that to be a CHRISTian means to be a follower of Christ. But I fail to follow the example of Christ daily. Every single day I wallow in my pride, my self-righteousness, my selfishness, my flesh - my sin. Have mercy upon me, Lord, a sinner! I remember that the apostle Paul called himself the chief of sinners, but I think he was wrong. It's me.

Heavenly Father,

have mercy upon me.
Teach me the patience of Christ.
Teach me the discipline of Christ.
Teach me the self-control of Christ.
Teach me the gentleness and kindness of Christ.
Teach me the hatred for sin of Christ
Teach me the love of Christ.


Sunday, October 25, 2009

run, forrest, run

A couple weeks ago I watched Forrest Gump for what was probably the 20th time. In case you didn't know, it's my all time favorite movie. It gets to me everytime. And everytime I watch it, I pick up something new that I didn't notice before.

Sometimes I can really relate to Forrest. I'm usually very open, and will most likely share alot about my personal life experiences to anybody who asks or who cares to hear. But sometimes randomly I will think about something that I'd rather keep to myself, and not share with anybody else. There aren't many topics that I don't like to talk about, but every now and then I'll think of something that I keep in my head and with God and nowhere else. And that's all I have to say about that.

On a completely unrelated note:
I once read on my old friend's facebook status, "There's not much you can be sure of in this world, but one thing's for sure: Forrest Gump would have done anything for Jenny."
And he would have.

I think Forrest Gump was actually a genius.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

hatred. anger. violence. love.

School starts tomorrow. I'd be excited for class, but mine got cancelled due to the school protests. Apparently, people are outraged at budget cuts and whatnot so there's a UC-wide walkout. Oh well, one more day of summer for me I guess haha.

Anyways, the school year has now arrived. I'm preparing myself for battle. There is still so much to work on! Lately I've been praying that God would instill in me a hatred for sin - A genuine, undying, deep down to my flesh and bones, super strong, abhorrence for sin. I sincerely pray that God would give me an attitude of violence towards sin. So when I sense sin starting to rear it's ugly head, I picture me punching, kicking, stabbing, stomping, or doing whatever to beat it back down. One time I imagined using a shovel to beat sin down.

You might think this is weird or unorthodox, and I suppose you're right. But a general doesn't win a war against an enemy by using the same old tactics over and over again, especially if they're unsuccessful. The greatest generals win wars using cunning, intellect, and devising new and extraordinary tactics that normal people don't think of.

Whatever works, right?

If you think about it, it's pretty atrocious that I, a humble and foolish sinner, would even dare to dream of offending a holy God like ours.

Don't worry, my violence and hatred is only being manifested against sin, so you guys are safe. haha :)

Saturday, September 12, 2009


My head is so jumbled. There are so many things on my mind.
School is swiftly approaching. I feel unprepared. Not academically so much, but mentally and spiritually. This year will be interesting, for sure. I wonder what God has in store for me?

Change my heart, O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart, O God
May I be like You

You are the Potter
I am the clay
Mold me and make me
This is what I pray

Saturday, August 22, 2009

God wanted to have a conversation.

So as I was driving up from San Diego to Pomona, I think God wanted to talk. My mind was set on other things, and as I put my ipod on shuffle, ready to listen to some music as I drove, I started to just relax and let my mind wander. But God had other plans. For some reason, I felt Him nudging me.

"Let's have a chat, shall we? You and me."

Alright, God. You're the boss. I started to pray.(I used to do this thing when I prayed on the road where I'd actually close my eyes, periodically opening them just to check the road. I was told multiple times that this was foolish and dangerous, so since then when I pray while driving I just keep my eyes open haha) As I prayed, God reminded me of how truly amazing and great He is; how beautiful, how glorious, how strong, how perfect. He reminded me that I need to trust in Him.

"God, why don't I have peace? Why is my heart still so far from your rest?"

Almost instantaneously, "You have not because you ask not."

So I asked. I begged. I implored. I brought everything on my heart to Him. And I was heard. And I was disciplined. And I was rebuked.

I was reminded - God was, is, and will be perfect. WE messed up. I messed up. So I prayed.
::Forgive me, Lord. Save me from myself.
Oh, wretched eyes that transform beauty to wickedness.
Sinful and lazy hands that smear dirt on pristine walls.
Unworthy feet that trample on pure, perfect, rose blossoms
Transform me, God, to remember,
that I am not my own, but I belong to YOU::

FML. No, not F my life. Forgive me, Lord. ( Clever, no? I got it from some random guy's facebook :D )

But God is good. Because I was heard before I even uttered a syllable - and forgiven before I was even conceived.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I love my life.

I just finished my last midterm for summer session 1. Next is finals -_-

At this moment, I have a healthy and blessed family, amazing and wonderful friends, a nice roof over my head, and delicious food on my table. I am so thankful for everything God has bestowed upon me.

Nobody's life is always peachy. We all have our own garbage to deal with and we all have our days, some worse than others. But during the times when I'm not blinded by my sin/spoiled nature, during the times when I feel rich in all the ways that matter, who else can I give credit to? Not to myself, that's for sure.

Thank you Lord not only for blessing me, which you always do. But thank you for opening my eyes to be able to truly APPRECIATE those blessings.

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

disclaimer: (can it be called a disclaimer if it's after the entry? whatever, it's my blog, ah do wuh ah waunt!)
I'm pretty mentally drained from running on 5 hour energy shots for a couple nights. So I apologize for this entry's possible incoherence. Basically, I am thankful for my life. And praise be to God.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

feelings of discontent

I wrote something here, but I decided that I'd rather keep it to myself. Haha, sorry. So this entry that was originally supposed to be a little longer will not be as long.

I feel overwhelmed with everything. Anything and everything, you name it. Much is expected of me, and I feel so unprepared. Unqualified. Unworthy. But all I need is You. That's it.

Today I had a midterm. It's weird being back in school. Anyways, I felt compelled to write a little about my faith. But I think my professor is kind of anti-religion. Hopefully my grade doesn't suffer :(

I need more time. No, I have enough time. I need more discipline to manage my time. Where I'm at right now does not make me happy. Not one bit. Time to pick up the slack!

Lifehouse - Storm

Sunday, June 14, 2009


It's 4:49 am. I should definitely not be awake, since I have graduations to attend in the morning. But I just came back from shooting around with Eric Park. And I felt like writing. Some things on my mind:

* Seniors are graduating(ed). You are appreciated!
* Some of the juniors are graduating(ed). I'm proud of you guys. Seems like not too long ago when we were still awkward with each other a couple of years ago.
* I love SD weather.
* For some reason every time I drive down to SD I think about my dad alot. I miss him.
* It's not a good feeling when you're up so late that the sky starts to brighten as the sun rises. Not like in a 'I am going to watch the sunrise' way, but more like in a 'hey, it's another reminder of a sleepless night' kind of way. Usually happens when you pull an all nighter studying I guess. But I love those birds that are awake with you. They chirp away at starting like about 3-4am. It almost makes it worth it, staying up that late just to hear those birds. Freaking birds.
* I wish my body wouldn't fall apart. What happened to those days when you could run around all day without worrying about stretching, cramping, or injuring anything? Kids seem so indestructible.
* Peter is sleeping next to me ever so peacefully. He was snoring but he stopped.
* I was reminded today about how I am such a fool.
* Only Jesus knows. Only He can understand.
* Summer session is starting soon.
* Lakers. Kobe Bryant will NOT be denied his 4th ring. Bye, Dwight Howard!

Sorry for the randomness. I need an extra blog for these random pointless entries for myself haha.

7If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
John 15:7

Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Cure For Pain

I'm not sure why it always goes downhill
Why broken cisterns never could stay filled
I've spent ten years singing gravity away
But the water keeps on falling from the sky

And here tonight all the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows
Heaven knows
I try to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord, to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away

So blood is fire pulsing through my veins
We're either riders or fools behind the reigns
I've spent ten years trying to sing it all away
But the water keeps on falling from my tries

And heaven knows
Heaven knows
I try to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord, to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
A lie to run
It would be a lie
It would be a lie to run away

It keeps on falling
It keeps on falling
It keeps on falling
It keeps on falling
The water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows
Heaven knows
I try to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord, to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
It would be a lie to run away
It would be a lie to run away

- Jon Foreman

Saturday, May 16, 2009

a good post

Some of you may or may not be familiar with the campus evangelist Tom Short. Unlike many preachers who frequent campuses with the fire and brimstone approach, Tom's theology comes straight from scripture. He preaches with love and patience as opposed to anger and scare tactics. It's kind of funny in a way(not really, but bear with me, I have a unique sense of humor) how the last time he was at UCSD preaching the gospel, he was lovingly preaching near Geisel while another man was damning people to hell just down library walk near Student Health Services. While other preachers don't give you the time of day to listen to genuine questions, Tom sits there and patiently answers not only questions from honest truth seekers, but also from skeptics and others who just want to poke fun. But instead of getting annoyed or turning them away like many would, he respectfully listens and answers questions. Believe me, this guy's patience is pretty crazy haha. Anyways, here's an entry that he wrote that I thought it might be good to share.

Since it's summertime and the weather is nice and hot, the clothes come flying off and people start working on their tans and such. Unfortunately, sometimes when the clothes come off, so does the modesty :(

My friend Tom will take it from here.

"I preached this week on The Oval at Ohio State where a warm, sunny, spring day resembles a beach more than an institution of higher education. I refer to the hundreds of girls sunbathing in their bikinis and a similar number of guys out to watch the show. The scene prompted me to write in this edition of word of the week about being a “stumbling block.”

On the negative side, a stumbling block is a person who causes another person to stumble, or to sin, in their relationship with God. Scripture has grave warnings for the person who lures someone into sin. On the other hand, the term can also be used concerning wicked people who are stumbled by that which is good, as in those who refuse to believe in Christ and, therefore, the word of the cross is a stumbling block to them (1 Corinthians 1:23). In this particular article, we will be referring to the former application.

The “term stumbling” block comes from the Greek word skandalon from which we get our words scandal and scandalous. Skandalon refers to a snare or a trap and, more specifically, to the part of the trap to which bait was attached. The obvious implication is that people can prove to be a snare, a trap and even bait that leads others into sin.

Jesus gave stern warnings against being a stumbling block. “"Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!” (Matthew 18:7). You don’t want Jesus saying “woe” to you. But He goes even further. Jesus had just told His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, be rejected by men and crucified. Peter loved Jesus too much to allow such a thing to happen and urged Jesus not to follow such a path. “But He (Jesus) turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interests, but man's.’" (Matthew 16:23). Can you imagine the scandal of being a stumbling block to the holy, sinless and pure Son of God? To show us how awful this is, Jesus actually called Peter “Satan”!

It is no small thing to be a stumbling block to another person. I hear people flippantly dismiss their behavior which tempts others as if it were all the other person’s fault. While it is true that each of us is responsible for the sins we commit, nevertheless, both Jesus or Paul taught that we bear some responsibility for how our behavior affects others. Jesus said, “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matthew 18:6). Paul taught that we should “determine not to put an obstacle or stumbling block in a brother’s way” (Romans 13:14).

OK, let’s get practical. Do you do things that lure others into sin? Is your behavior so scandalous that others fall into a trap of sin? Let me give some examples.

I’ve already mentioned that this article was prompted by the sensual and tempting attire (or lack of attire) of so many women on campus. Scripture tells young women to adorn themselves with “proper clothing” that is “modest and discreet” (1 Timothy 2:13). Christian women’s clothing ought to draw more attention to their godly character than to your curves! Your kindness, purity, love, good works and radiant countenance is what can and should attract a man to notice you. But ungodly women of low character can not attract a man in this way and so they must resort to luring him with sensual and immodest clothing.



It is not my intention to lay down a list of specific rules concerning dress. The last thing I would like to do is fall into the trap of the Islamic “moral police” who institute man-made regulations to uphold their own standards of righteousness. Rules just create a bunch of sneaky people who are always trying to figure out how far they can bend the rules without breaking them. I would like to motivate you to be as righteous and pure as you possibly can and to help those of the opposite sex to maintain pure thoughts as well.

That being said, let me give an example of two.

Years ago, Roz and I had a young lady living with us who had come from a rather loose background. She often wore tight tops with a plunging neck-line that drew undue attention to her breasts. It was embarrassing to her and to us, but we brought this up to her for discussion. She was unaware that she had been a stumbling block to guys in the fellowship and actually thought she was dressing far more modestly than she had in the past. However, she heeded our advice and began to wear tops that were less revealing. A couple of weeks later, she shared with me how things were going. “I’m not used to feeling clothing up near my neckline, but it sure is better to have a shirt around my neck than a millstone!” What a sweet, teachable spirit! She didn’t want to be a stumbling block and, once she became aware that she was one, she made a change.

John writes, “The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him” (1 John 2:10). This young lady loved the brothers more than she loved herself. She yielded up her right to wear whatever she felt comfortable in so that she would cause no offense to some young man seeking to have a pure heart. She took the attitude of a servant rather than that of a self-centered person who cared less about others. She now had Christian character that was far more attractive, precious and enduring than any skin that was to be reserved for her future husband. O, that more young Christian women would have this attitude today!

But this week I noticed how sensual and immodest dress can do more than stumble a Christian brother who is trying to maintain pure thoughts. On Friday, a small group of Muslims were interacting with me about the gospel and why they felt Islam is superior to Christianity. At one point, they referred to all the girls in bikinis and said, “Our religion does not allow a girl to dress like this or allow us to look at them. These are Christian girls wearing such tempting bathing suits. Obviously, they don’t care whether or not they sin or whether or not others sin. What do you think of these girls? Do you think God wants these girls to dress this way? Isn’t it obvious that Islam is a better religion that Christianity because Muslim women would never walk around dressed the way these Christian women are dressed?”

I’ve got to admit, these Muslims had a good point. Personally, I doubt the “bikini babes” were Christians. (Many Muslims believe all Americans are Christian, but we know better.) But suffice it to say, there are people who watch our behavior and make judgments on how serious we are attempting to live a righteous life.

Other Applications

I have focused on women’s dress being a stumbling block and said some things that need to be said. But there are other ways in which we should be careful not to be a stumbling block.

For instance, you may feel the liberty to partake in activities that are neither right nor wrong – they are “gray areas.” But if your liberty tempts another person to do something they feel is sinful, you have become a stumbling block to your brother in Christ. “Gray areas” may refer to such things as what movies you watch, the consumption of alcohol, or even what slang words to use.

You may stumble a person by something that is not “evil,” but which may be wrong at the time. Tempting someone to join you in playing video games when he was feeling led to spend time in the word or prayer is being a stumbling block to him.

Guys, just as you would not want a sister to dress in a tempting way, you might use words or look at her in ways that lead her on and tempt her to lust for you. This may be far more subtle, but every bit as much of a stumbling block as it would be for you if she were dressed in an alluring way. (And, by the way, guys, you do not have a free pass on dressing modestly, either. Being overly “showy” with your body can be just as tempting to girls as their immodest dress can be to you.)

Again, the key to all of this is love (1 John 2:10). We should never do things out of selfish or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, we should consider others interests above our own (Philippians 2:3-4). Rules and regulations will never prevent you from being a stumbling block; only genuine love can do that."
- Tom Short

Amen :) This doesn't mean you have to be a prude or imitate the clothing of the men and women of olden times or something(OH NO! AN ANKLE! AHHH!) But just use your discretion.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

love > logic

It's not logical for you to believe in something that you can't physically see.
It's not logical for you to put the needs of others before your own.
It's not logical to choose a life of humility instead of chasing after earthly riches.
It's not logical to endure hardship in the hopes of finding something better.
It's not logical to seek comfort in an intangible being during a time of hardship or strife.
It's not logical to be patient with those who don't deserve it.
It's not logical for a mother to slave away all day, whether at work or at home, to support her children.
It's not logical for a father to invest time and effort into a career which will only lead to stress and little income to support his family.
It's not logical to jump in front of a careening car in order to save the life of your friend.
It's not logical to live a perfect life and then endure the most painful death imaginable on the cross.
It's not logical for a Father to sacrifice His only son to save a species of wretched and unappreciative sinners.

But love overcomes all logic.

I'll be the first to admit I never was the most logical person. In a discussion or debate of logic, I'd lose 9 times out of 10. But I think I've come to terms with that. I don't need to have all the answers. I have somebody who does. Many of my actions and viewpoints would leave some of you with a puzzled look on your face. But I have experienced the greatest love that this world has ever known and ever will know. And that's good enough for me.


Monday, May 11, 2009

a strong love. THE strong love.

It has recently come to my attention that I worry and fret about small things that I shouldn't stress about. Not to say that they're meaningless things, but just that they are things that I should not worry myself to the point that I lose sight of what I'm called to do and be. To tell you the truth, the aforementioned matters are quite important. BUT, in the process of being such a whiny worrywart, I forget that the more I try to foolishly take control of my life, the more I make a mess of things and muddle up what God originally had planned for me.

While I try to commandeer the vessel that is my life, I overthink, I stress, and I dig myself into a hole that the most skilled climber could scarcely climb out of. -_- Tis a slippery slope, to overthink things. I have a bad habit of doing that - of playing out scenarios in my mind; of batting around what ifs, couldas, wouldas, and shouldas around in my head like a kitten with a ball of string. This usually continues until I'm so lost that I don't know what to do with myself. What a fool, no? Haha.

So anyways, I was reminded last night that sometimes, I have to remember to let go and LET GOD. He's gonna work His plan out to work out for me, because He's got my back and He's infinitely smarter than dumb old me. (I wonder how long it's gonna take for me to actually learn my lesson and not make the same mistake again.)

And God is faithful. I guess He really wanted to remind me. :) Today, on the way to work, I was listening to my iPod. The song Your Love is Strong by Jon Foreman(lead singer of Switchfoot) began playing. It's a really beautiful song, if you haven't heard it before. But then again, a song is just a song at first. It only becomes truly beautiful when the listener actually has a personal connection with the song and when it evokes meaningful emotions in said listener. But I digress. As I listened to the song, it served as a strong reminder to how great our God truly is. And it stabbed me through the heart. Oh, ye of little faith!

Here are the lyrics to the song.(I think they're right) I recently discovered Jon Foreman's solo stuff. It is awesome.

Jon Foreman - Your Love is Strong

Heavenly Father, you always amaze me
Let your kingdom come in my world and in my life
Give me the food I need to live through today
And forgive me as I forgive the people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window the birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune or out of place
I walk to the meadow and stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl on her wedding day

So why should I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens, is now advancing
Invade my heart, invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens, is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself to buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us weary sinners
Keep us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

enough said. :)

Thursday, April 9, 2009


Hello world. I thought I'd update on my life.

Life is tough. And different. And I'm struggling. But I'm hanging in there, seriously by the grace of God. He has blessed me with amazing family and friends who support me through it all, and it's the only reason that I can sustain the somewhat normal state that I do now.

I miss San Diego alot. I miss my roommate/apartmentmates, I miss my small group boys(both church and kcm), I miss seeworld, I miss my other friends. I don't know what I'd do without internet and being able to chat with everyone and stuff haha.

But life is good. Working a full time job is tough, and eating habits get bad :( I haven't gained weight, but I gained fat. I feel slow and sluggish. Luckily Jeff gave me a 24 hour fitness membership that he's not using right now so I can use it whenever I want. They have a basketball court there too! And black people o_O I hate being short and asian. Oh well.

More to come later. I'm excited for Hillsongs! April 21st :D

And on a random note. Kobe Bryant is amazing. This guy just dominates and inflicts his will up and down the court. Insane! I hope I can get Lakers tickets!!

Monday, March 23, 2009


The past couple weeks have been full of chaos and turmoil. But they have also been full of grace, love, and joy. For those of you who haven't heard yet, my dad passed away on March 5th, about 2 and a half weeks ago. He was a great man and an awesome father. It's such a blessing for me to be able to share that he was saved; he recommitted his life to Christ recently. I actually found out at the funeral, which is kind of crazy. Prior to that I'd been feeling uncertainty and doubt. I tried to take solace in God's sovereignty, but it was hard to think that it was part of God's plan for my dad to suffer in eternity. But - He is good. He is faithful. And his plan is perfect. Through all the sadness and through all the tears, God has been there for me and my family, and I can truly say that I am so blessed.

But it is by no means getting easier. I thought with time things would ease up, but things have just gotten more and more difficult. Trials are hitting me left and right, and I feel Satan's unrelenting blows. It's true that you can NEVER let your guard down. Satan will wait for you to let your guard down and try to cheap shot you. What kind of coward would use this kind of situation to take advantage of you when you're down, right? But Satan is definitely capable of doing that. Already some of the employees at my dad's restaurants are taking advantage of the situation to benefit themselves (stealing, shady business, etc.) How then, would Satan not be capable of such evil? Sin is lame.

Anyways, like I said, things are only getting more difficult, and this pattern will continue in the months to come. Please pray for me and my family! We need it so much right now. Not that any of us ever need God more in one time than any other, it's just that our need for God is so much more evident in this time of trials.

This entry was unorganized and not well written. But it's ok, I'm just writing my jumbled thoughts. Just thought I'd blow the dust off this thing and use it since I neglected it for a while.

Psalms 18:2. Look it up, brothers and sisters! <3

I will write more later.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

life up til now

Yesterday I was reminded that man is fallible. Your friends and family will ultimately fail you; but God never will. He can't. He loves you too much. It MIGHT also have something to do with His being all-powerful, but you know - whatever. I was so frustrated and tired, but thanks to God He is gracious and sends me awesome brothers and sisters who keep me accountable and continue to encourage me.

I want to share something that rocked me to my core. This is an excerpt from a book that I'm reading called The Mortification of Sin. (Fellas, I HIGHLY recommend you check this book out if you haven't already. It's a good book for general audiences, but it caters more to the male gender)

Some background information - the chapter this is coming from is titled "The Work of the Spirit in Mortification." The author John Owen basically tells of the futility of trying to kill sin by one's own power(instead of by the Spirit), and in depth describes the shortcomings of the man who foolishly attempts to do so. One of the reasons that this chapter rocked me was because the whole chapter in a nutshell described me. Sad, no? Anyways, here goes:

"I might here bewail the endless, foolish labour of poor souls, who are convinced of sin, and yet not able to stand against its power. They try many perplexing ways and duties, to keep down sin, but, being strangers to the Spirit of God, they find it is all in vain. They combat without victory, have war without peace, and are in slavery all their days. They spend their strength for that which is not bread, and their labour for that which does not profit.
This is the saddest warfare that any poor creature can be engaged in. A soul under the power of conviction from the law is pressed to fight against sin, but he has no strength for the battle. He must fight, but he can never conquer. He is like a man who thrusts himself on the sword of the enemy on purpose to be slain. The law drives him on, and then sin beats him back. Sometimes he thinks he has foiled sin, but he has only raised a dust, so that he cannot see the sin. He stirs up his natural affections of fear, sorrow, and anguish, and this makes him believe that sin is conquered when it is not even touched. He soon must be at the battle again, and the lust which he thought to be slain is seen to be not even wounded.
If the case of those who labour and strive, and yet never enter into the kingdom of God, is sad, what is the condition of those who are not even concerned? They are those who are perpetually under the power and dominion of sin, and love to have it so. They are troubled about nothing, except to continue to make provision for the flesh and to fulfil the lusts thereof."

Holy Spirit, come! Only You can mold and make a fool like me into the man You call me to be.

*random change of direction*
I watched Slumdog Millionaire. It did not disappoint. JAI HO! Now I can say it with pride haha. I hate midterms. I miss muay thai and brazilian jiu-jitsu. I wish I had more time.

Ok time to shower and go to school and study until my eyes bleed. Fare thee well, friends.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I am so sick with sin.
A foolish wretch who knows nothing but selfish desires.
A stupid dog, returning to my own vomit time and time again.
How can I continually ask these things of You, when I constantly fail to give You my all?
But thanks be to God, who HAS RESCUED me from this body of death.

Hebrews 9:28
so Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation WITHOUT REFERENCE TO SIN, to those who eagerly await Him.

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

I pray that God will give me the eyes to see and the wisdom to understand.

The race has already started. Time to kick it up a notch. For what? The treasure at the end - the crown of life. Duh!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

love love love

Ahh, Valentine's day. There's nothing like a healthy dose of jjajangmyun and Jesus on this day of love.

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

For the couples,
may your relationships be God-centered and glorifying/pleasing to Him on this day :)

For the singles,
may you not feel despair or sorrow on "singles-awareness day," but rather rejoice, that Jesus showed us the greatest love that has ever been and ever will be!

God is love.

I know this is cliche, but cliches are named as such for a reason, right?
But yeah. Know God, know love. No God, no love.

I'm encouraged to see so many brothers and sisters fighting the good fight on our campus; taking up their armor everyday against the blows that Satan always tries to break us down with. These soldiers bring me so much joy. When I'm wandering campus or even anywhere else, and I see people reading the Word or praying, I'm so encouraged and blessed. Even among all the sin that runs rampant on our campus, God still pours out his blessings to us, and His mercies are truly new every morning. Thank God for love tent.

Have a blessed week, friends! :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


So I wasn't planning on blogging because I didn't feel like exposing my thoughts and feelings to the world really. But while my friend Cadengo and I were talking, he mentioned that to not share thoughts and feelings was on par with not sharing love. And since I am called to share love, I will. But don't expect any craziness from this blog (for anybody who's even reading this). I am neither a particularly eloquent person nor an exceptionally intelligent guy. If you've come here for some kind of revelation or have some high expectations, then you're sure to be disappointed. But anyways, I will share my experiences - and love - not because I'm obligated to in any way, but because I was loved first. :)

I will also try to blog using correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar. I feel like as a 21 year old, I should start writing more professionally. Long gone are these days...

- an excerpt from my xanga; dated June 24, 2005
"it was a pretty good day. got most of the grades i wanted (cept one but whatevr) then jus chilled for the whole day. packed up nd cleaned out my locker, then went to carmenita for some band crap dat i had to audition for. then went home, got ready nd got some stuff, then eric park picked me up to go to his house. we chilled for a while, then got dressed and went to the whs field to see the graduation. it was frken tite. there were good fireworks nd everything. i was so proud to see all the senior homies jus walkin down that aisle, all proud in their gowns. then after jus chilled nd ate then kicked it at harris house for a bit, then went home nd knocked out."

Wow. I am disgusted with myself.

Time to sleep.

Hillsongs - The Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

God is good.