life up til now

Yesterday I was reminded that man is fallible. Your friends and family will ultimately fail you; but God never will. He can't. He loves you too much. It MIGHT also have something to do with His being all-powerful, but you know - whatever. I was so frustrated and tired, but thanks to God He is gracious and sends me awesome brothers and sisters who keep me accountable and continue to encourage me.

I want to share something that rocked me to my core. This is an excerpt from a book that I'm reading called The Mortification of Sin. (Fellas, I HIGHLY recommend you check this book out if you haven't already. It's a good book for general audiences, but it caters more to the male gender)

Some background information - the chapter this is coming from is titled "The Work of the Spirit in Mortification." The author John Owen basically tells of the futility of trying to kill sin by one's own power(instead of by the Spirit), and in depth describes the shortcomings of the man who foolishly attempts to do so. One of the reasons that this chapter rocked me was because the whole chapter in a nutshell described me. Sad, no? Anyways, here goes:

"I might here bewail the endless, foolish labour of poor souls, who are convinced of sin, and yet not able to stand against its power. They try many perplexing ways and duties, to keep down sin, but, being strangers to the Spirit of God, they find it is all in vain. They combat without victory, have war without peace, and are in slavery all their days. They spend their strength for that which is not bread, and their labour for that which does not profit.
This is the saddest warfare that any poor creature can be engaged in. A soul under the power of conviction from the law is pressed to fight against sin, but he has no strength for the battle. He must fight, but he can never conquer. He is like a man who thrusts himself on the sword of the enemy on purpose to be slain. The law drives him on, and then sin beats him back. Sometimes he thinks he has foiled sin, but he has only raised a dust, so that he cannot see the sin. He stirs up his natural affections of fear, sorrow, and anguish, and this makes him believe that sin is conquered when it is not even touched. He soon must be at the battle again, and the lust which he thought to be slain is seen to be not even wounded.
If the case of those who labour and strive, and yet never enter into the kingdom of God, is sad, what is the condition of those who are not even concerned? They are those who are perpetually under the power and dominion of sin, and love to have it so. They are troubled about nothing, except to continue to make provision for the flesh and to fulfil the lusts thereof."

Holy Spirit, come! Only You can mold and make a fool like me into the man You call me to be.

*random change of direction*
I watched Slumdog Millionaire. It did not disappoint. JAI HO! Now I can say it with pride haha. I hate midterms. I miss muay thai and brazilian jiu-jitsu. I wish I had more time.

Ok time to shower and go to school and study until my eyes bleed. Fare thee well, friends.

sick.

I am so sick with sin.
A foolish wretch who knows nothing but selfish desires.
A stupid dog, returning to my own vomit time and time again.
How can I continually ask these things of You, when I constantly fail to give You my all?
But thanks be to God, who HAS RESCUED me from this body of death.

Hebrews 9:28
so Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation WITHOUT REFERENCE TO SIN, to those who eagerly await Him.

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

I pray that God will give me the eyes to see and the wisdom to understand.

The race has already started. Time to kick it up a notch. For what? The treasure at the end - the crown of life. Duh!

love love love

Ahh, Valentine's day. There's nothing like a healthy dose of jjajangmyun and Jesus on this day of love.

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

For the couples,
may your relationships be God-centered and glorifying/pleasing to Him on this day :)

For the singles,
may you not feel despair or sorrow on "singles-awareness day," but rather rejoice, that Jesus showed us the greatest love that has ever been and ever will be!

God is love.

I know this is cliche, but cliches are named as such for a reason, right?
But yeah. Know God, know love. No God, no love.

I'm encouraged to see so many brothers and sisters fighting the good fight on our campus; taking up their armor everyday against the blows that Satan always tries to break us down with. These soldiers bring me so much joy. When I'm wandering campus or even anywhere else, and I see people reading the Word or praying, I'm so encouraged and blessed. Even among all the sin that runs rampant on our campus, God still pours out his blessings to us, and His mercies are truly new every morning. Thank God for love tent.

Have a blessed week, friends! :)

welcome.

So I wasn't planning on blogging because I didn't feel like exposing my thoughts and feelings to the world really. But while my friend Cadengo and I were talking, he mentioned that to not share thoughts and feelings was on par with not sharing love. And since I am called to share love, I will. But don't expect any craziness from this blog (for anybody who's even reading this). I am neither a particularly eloquent person nor an exceptionally intelligent guy. If you've come here for some kind of revelation or have some high expectations, then you're sure to be disappointed. But anyways, I will share my experiences - and love - not because I'm obligated to in any way, but because I was loved first. :)

I will also try to blog using correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar. I feel like as a 21 year old, I should start writing more professionally. Long gone are these days...

- an excerpt from my xanga; dated June 24, 2005
"it was a pretty good day. got most of the grades i wanted (cept one but whatevr) then jus chilled for the whole day. packed up nd cleaned out my locker, then went to carmenita for some band crap dat i had to audition for. then went home, got ready nd got some stuff, then eric park picked me up to go to his house. we chilled for a while, then got dressed and went to the whs field to see the graduation. it was frken tite. there were good fireworks nd everything. i was so proud to see all the senior homies jus walkin down that aisle, all proud in their gowns. then after jus chilled nd ate then kicked it at harris house for a bit, then went home nd knocked out."

Wow. I am disgusted with myself.

Time to sleep.

Hillsongs - The Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

God is good.