Saturday, August 22, 2009

God wanted to have a conversation.

So as I was driving up from San Diego to Pomona, I think God wanted to talk. My mind was set on other things, and as I put my ipod on shuffle, ready to listen to some music as I drove, I started to just relax and let my mind wander. But God had other plans. For some reason, I felt Him nudging me.

"Let's have a chat, shall we? You and me."

Alright, God. You're the boss. I started to pray.(I used to do this thing when I prayed on the road where I'd actually close my eyes, periodically opening them just to check the road. I was told multiple times that this was foolish and dangerous, so since then when I pray while driving I just keep my eyes open haha) As I prayed, God reminded me of how truly amazing and great He is; how beautiful, how glorious, how strong, how perfect. He reminded me that I need to trust in Him.

"God, why don't I have peace? Why is my heart still so far from your rest?"

Almost instantaneously, "You have not because you ask not."

So I asked. I begged. I implored. I brought everything on my heart to Him. And I was heard. And I was disciplined. And I was rebuked.

I was reminded - God was, is, and will be perfect. WE messed up. I messed up. So I prayed.
::Forgive me, Lord. Save me from myself.
Oh, wretched eyes that transform beauty to wickedness.
Sinful and lazy hands that smear dirt on pristine walls.
Unworthy feet that trample on pure, perfect, rose blossoms
Transform me, God, to remember,
that I am not my own, but I belong to YOU::

FML. No, not F my life. Forgive me, Lord. ( Clever, no? I got it from some random guy's facebook :D )

But God is good. Because I was heard before I even uttered a syllable - and forgiven before I was even conceived.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I love my life.

I just finished my last midterm for summer session 1. Next is finals -_-

At this moment, I have a healthy and blessed family, amazing and wonderful friends, a nice roof over my head, and delicious food on my table. I am so thankful for everything God has bestowed upon me.

Nobody's life is always peachy. We all have our own garbage to deal with and we all have our days, some worse than others. But during the times when I'm not blinded by my sin/spoiled nature, during the times when I feel rich in all the ways that matter, who else can I give credit to? Not to myself, that's for sure.

Thank you Lord not only for blessing me, which you always do. But thank you for opening my eyes to be able to truly APPRECIATE those blessings.

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

disclaimer: (can it be called a disclaimer if it's after the entry? whatever, it's my blog, ah do wuh ah waunt!)
I'm pretty mentally drained from running on 5 hour energy shots for a couple nights. So I apologize for this entry's possible incoherence. Basically, I am thankful for my life. And praise be to God.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

feelings of discontent

I wrote something here, but I decided that I'd rather keep it to myself. Haha, sorry. So this entry that was originally supposed to be a little longer will not be as long.

I feel overwhelmed with everything. Anything and everything, you name it. Much is expected of me, and I feel so unprepared. Unqualified. Unworthy. But all I need is You. That's it.

Today I had a midterm. It's weird being back in school. Anyways, I felt compelled to write a little about my faith. But I think my professor is kind of anti-religion. Hopefully my grade doesn't suffer :(

I need more time. No, I have enough time. I need more discipline to manage my time. Where I'm at right now does not make me happy. Not one bit. Time to pick up the slack!

Lifehouse - Storm

Sunday, June 14, 2009

random

It's 4:49 am. I should definitely not be awake, since I have graduations to attend in the morning. But I just came back from shooting around with Eric Park. And I felt like writing. Some things on my mind:

* Seniors are graduating(ed). You are appreciated!
* Some of the juniors are graduating(ed). I'm proud of you guys. Seems like not too long ago when we were still awkward with each other a couple of years ago.
* I love SD weather.
* For some reason every time I drive down to SD I think about my dad alot. I miss him.
* It's not a good feeling when you're up so late that the sky starts to brighten as the sun rises. Not like in a 'I am going to watch the sunrise' way, but more like in a 'hey, it's another reminder of a sleepless night' kind of way. Usually happens when you pull an all nighter studying I guess. But I love those birds that are awake with you. They chirp away at starting like about 3-4am. It almost makes it worth it, staying up that late just to hear those birds. Freaking birds.
* I wish my body wouldn't fall apart. What happened to those days when you could run around all day without worrying about stretching, cramping, or injuring anything? Kids seem so indestructible.
* Peter is sleeping next to me ever so peacefully. He was snoring but he stopped.
* I was reminded today about how I am such a fool.
* Only Jesus knows. Only He can understand.
* Summer session is starting soon.
* Lakers. Kobe Bryant will NOT be denied his 4th ring. Bye, Dwight Howard!

Sorry for the randomness. I need an extra blog for these random pointless entries for myself haha.

7If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
John 15:7

Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Cure For Pain

I'm not sure why it always goes downhill
Why broken cisterns never could stay filled
I've spent ten years singing gravity away
But the water keeps on falling from the sky

And here tonight all the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows
Heaven knows
I try to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord, to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away

So blood is fire pulsing through my veins
We're either riders or fools behind the reigns
I've spent ten years trying to sing it all away
But the water keeps on falling from my tries

And heaven knows
Heaven knows
I try to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord, to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
A lie to run
It would be a lie
It would be a lie to run away

It keeps on falling
It keeps on falling
It keeps on falling
It keeps on falling
The water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows
Heaven knows
I try to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord, to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
It would be a lie to run away
It would be a lie to run away

- Jon Foreman

Saturday, May 16, 2009

a good post

Some of you may or may not be familiar with the campus evangelist Tom Short. Unlike many preachers who frequent campuses with the fire and brimstone approach, Tom's theology comes straight from scripture. He preaches with love and patience as opposed to anger and scare tactics. It's kind of funny in a way(not really, but bear with me, I have a unique sense of humor) how the last time he was at UCSD preaching the gospel, he was lovingly preaching near Geisel while another man was damning people to hell just down library walk near Student Health Services. While other preachers don't give you the time of day to listen to genuine questions, Tom sits there and patiently answers not only questions from honest truth seekers, but also from skeptics and others who just want to poke fun. But instead of getting annoyed or turning them away like many would, he respectfully listens and answers questions. Believe me, this guy's patience is pretty crazy haha. Anyways, here's an entry that he wrote that I thought it might be good to share.

Since it's summertime and the weather is nice and hot, the clothes come flying off and people start working on their tans and such. Unfortunately, sometimes when the clothes come off, so does the modesty :(

My friend Tom will take it from here.

"I preached this week on The Oval at Ohio State where a warm, sunny, spring day resembles a beach more than an institution of higher education. I refer to the hundreds of girls sunbathing in their bikinis and a similar number of guys out to watch the show. The scene prompted me to write in this edition of word of the week about being a “stumbling block.”

On the negative side, a stumbling block is a person who causes another person to stumble, or to sin, in their relationship with God. Scripture has grave warnings for the person who lures someone into sin. On the other hand, the term can also be used concerning wicked people who are stumbled by that which is good, as in those who refuse to believe in Christ and, therefore, the word of the cross is a stumbling block to them (1 Corinthians 1:23). In this particular article, we will be referring to the former application.

The “term stumbling” block comes from the Greek word skandalon from which we get our words scandal and scandalous. Skandalon refers to a snare or a trap and, more specifically, to the part of the trap to which bait was attached. The obvious implication is that people can prove to be a snare, a trap and even bait that leads others into sin.

Jesus gave stern warnings against being a stumbling block. “"Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!” (Matthew 18:7). You don’t want Jesus saying “woe” to you. But He goes even further. Jesus had just told His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, be rejected by men and crucified. Peter loved Jesus too much to allow such a thing to happen and urged Jesus not to follow such a path. “But He (Jesus) turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interests, but man's.’" (Matthew 16:23). Can you imagine the scandal of being a stumbling block to the holy, sinless and pure Son of God? To show us how awful this is, Jesus actually called Peter “Satan”!

It is no small thing to be a stumbling block to another person. I hear people flippantly dismiss their behavior which tempts others as if it were all the other person’s fault. While it is true that each of us is responsible for the sins we commit, nevertheless, both Jesus or Paul taught that we bear some responsibility for how our behavior affects others. Jesus said, “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matthew 18:6). Paul taught that we should “determine not to put an obstacle or stumbling block in a brother’s way” (Romans 13:14).

OK, let’s get practical. Do you do things that lure others into sin? Is your behavior so scandalous that others fall into a trap of sin? Let me give some examples.

I’ve already mentioned that this article was prompted by the sensual and tempting attire (or lack of attire) of so many women on campus. Scripture tells young women to adorn themselves with “proper clothing” that is “modest and discreet” (1 Timothy 2:13). Christian women’s clothing ought to draw more attention to their godly character than to your curves! Your kindness, purity, love, good works and radiant countenance is what can and should attract a man to notice you. But ungodly women of low character can not attract a man in this way and so they must resort to luring him with sensual and immodest clothing.

Christian women: DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP BY ALLOWING UNGODLY WOMEN TO SET YOUR STANDARDS FOR DRESS!

Christian men: DO NOT UNDERMINE YOUR SISTER’S EFFORTS TO ADORN THEMSELVES PROPERLY BY ALLOWING UNGODLY AND SENSUAL WOMEN TO CAPTURE YOUR ATTENTION!

It is not my intention to lay down a list of specific rules concerning dress. The last thing I would like to do is fall into the trap of the Islamic “moral police” who institute man-made regulations to uphold their own standards of righteousness. Rules just create a bunch of sneaky people who are always trying to figure out how far they can bend the rules without breaking them. I would like to motivate you to be as righteous and pure as you possibly can and to help those of the opposite sex to maintain pure thoughts as well.

That being said, let me give an example of two.

Years ago, Roz and I had a young lady living with us who had come from a rather loose background. She often wore tight tops with a plunging neck-line that drew undue attention to her breasts. It was embarrassing to her and to us, but we brought this up to her for discussion. She was unaware that she had been a stumbling block to guys in the fellowship and actually thought she was dressing far more modestly than she had in the past. However, she heeded our advice and began to wear tops that were less revealing. A couple of weeks later, she shared with me how things were going. “I’m not used to feeling clothing up near my neckline, but it sure is better to have a shirt around my neck than a millstone!” What a sweet, teachable spirit! She didn’t want to be a stumbling block and, once she became aware that she was one, she made a change.

John writes, “The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him” (1 John 2:10). This young lady loved the brothers more than she loved herself. She yielded up her right to wear whatever she felt comfortable in so that she would cause no offense to some young man seeking to have a pure heart. She took the attitude of a servant rather than that of a self-centered person who cared less about others. She now had Christian character that was far more attractive, precious and enduring than any skin that was to be reserved for her future husband. O, that more young Christian women would have this attitude today!

But this week I noticed how sensual and immodest dress can do more than stumble a Christian brother who is trying to maintain pure thoughts. On Friday, a small group of Muslims were interacting with me about the gospel and why they felt Islam is superior to Christianity. At one point, they referred to all the girls in bikinis and said, “Our religion does not allow a girl to dress like this or allow us to look at them. These are Christian girls wearing such tempting bathing suits. Obviously, they don’t care whether or not they sin or whether or not others sin. What do you think of these girls? Do you think God wants these girls to dress this way? Isn’t it obvious that Islam is a better religion that Christianity because Muslim women would never walk around dressed the way these Christian women are dressed?”

I’ve got to admit, these Muslims had a good point. Personally, I doubt the “bikini babes” were Christians. (Many Muslims believe all Americans are Christian, but we know better.) But suffice it to say, there are people who watch our behavior and make judgments on how serious we are attempting to live a righteous life.

Other Applications

I have focused on women’s dress being a stumbling block and said some things that need to be said. But there are other ways in which we should be careful not to be a stumbling block.

For instance, you may feel the liberty to partake in activities that are neither right nor wrong – they are “gray areas.” But if your liberty tempts another person to do something they feel is sinful, you have become a stumbling block to your brother in Christ. “Gray areas” may refer to such things as what movies you watch, the consumption of alcohol, or even what slang words to use.

You may stumble a person by something that is not “evil,” but which may be wrong at the time. Tempting someone to join you in playing video games when he was feeling led to spend time in the word or prayer is being a stumbling block to him.

Guys, just as you would not want a sister to dress in a tempting way, you might use words or look at her in ways that lead her on and tempt her to lust for you. This may be far more subtle, but every bit as much of a stumbling block as it would be for you if she were dressed in an alluring way. (And, by the way, guys, you do not have a free pass on dressing modestly, either. Being overly “showy” with your body can be just as tempting to girls as their immodest dress can be to you.)

Again, the key to all of this is love (1 John 2:10). We should never do things out of selfish or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, we should consider others interests above our own (Philippians 2:3-4). Rules and regulations will never prevent you from being a stumbling block; only genuine love can do that."
- Tom Short

Amen :) This doesn't mean you have to be a prude or imitate the clothing of the men and women of olden times or something(OH NO! AN ANKLE! AHHH!) But just use your discretion.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

love > logic

It's not logical for you to believe in something that you can't physically see.
It's not logical for you to put the needs of others before your own.
It's not logical to choose a life of humility instead of chasing after earthly riches.
It's not logical to endure hardship in the hopes of finding something better.
It's not logical to seek comfort in an intangible being during a time of hardship or strife.
It's not logical to be patient with those who don't deserve it.
It's not logical for a mother to slave away all day, whether at work or at home, to support her children.
It's not logical for a father to invest time and effort into a career which will only lead to stress and little income to support his family.
It's not logical to jump in front of a careening car in order to save the life of your friend.
It's not logical to live a perfect life and then endure the most painful death imaginable on the cross.
It's not logical for a Father to sacrifice His only son to save a species of wretched and unappreciative sinners.

But love overcomes all logic.

I'll be the first to admit I never was the most logical person. In a discussion or debate of logic, I'd lose 9 times out of 10. But I think I've come to terms with that. I don't need to have all the answers. I have somebody who does. Many of my actions and viewpoints would leave some of you with a puzzled look on your face. But I have experienced the greatest love that this world has ever known and ever will know. And that's good enough for me.

:)